The Rules of Engagement for Successful Networking

In its most fundamental definition, networking is the outreach to others for the purpose of engagement.  It is often ongoing communication in what has become a very fragile milieu of friends, associates, former coworkers and frequently, complete strangers.

Networking allows each of us to make an attempt to get what we need from others. It is also a key element to any job search. As such, the trick is to do it in a way that prevents you from driving those with whom you network crazy.

How we go about our networking is important because in the end, if networking isn’t effective, there’s little reason to continue doing it. There are many rules of engagement for networking;  to ignore them is high-risk behavior that can leave you out in the cold.

When networking, consider these 4 major points:

1. Pay it forward: The time to give to others is always right now – before they give to you. The logic behind this is simple; everyone is looking for something. I suggest that you look at networking as a bank account. Every time that you help another, you are making a deposit.

Every time that you ask for help, you are making a withdrawal. If you give twice as much as you take, your bank account will grow and you will have the capital you need when the time comes to reach out for help.

2. Keep expectations low: Such is life.  The sooner you adjust your expectations, the better. People act in their own best self-interest and despite what you might think or need, your outreach is going to have to wait until that person is ready to deal with your request.

Big emergency you have going there? As the saying goes, “since when does poor planning on your part constitute an emergency on mine?”

We all need to be patient while networking and understand that even our best buddies will disappoint us sooner or later.

3. Specifics required: When it comes to sharing your request or need, be specific. People can’t help if they do not know what you want. To simply request help in finding a job is not going to cut it.

“I am looking for a job as a Software Engineer because I was laid off” is a statement of circumstance and situation. As such it is too broad based and hardly actionable.  Compare that to: “I was wondering if you might have a connection in the software distribution supply channel for shrink wrapped products for a consulting project?”

That message is clear and highly actionable. The objective is to make your request painless and easy.

4. Understand rejection: Rejection is a part of life and more often than not, it isn’t personal.  Let’s take LinkedIn for example. This can be a very valuable business tool and it has done many people a lot of good.

On the other hand, it is also a place that can drink up a lot of your time and not incidentally, the time of all the people to whom you reach out.  Some of these individuals might be only second or third connections or simply connections by group.  As such these individuals might not know you all that well and simply not respond.

Translation: getting upset will do nothing for you when you are not getting the types of introductions, favors or responses for which you have hoped. Take a deep breath and look elsewhere for what you need.

The long and short of networking is as simple. Do onto others as you would have them to do onto you. Try to be helpful. If you can’t help, communicate that quickly. Be reasonable in your expectations. Do it well and great things will come to pass.

Excerpted exclusively for Monster readers  from Howard Adamsky’s new book, Employment Rage, coming in February 2011.  Visit www.employmentrage.com for more.

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Share your best networking tips and tricks by leaving a comment below.  You can also contact Howard directly by e-mailing howard@employmentrage.com.

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About the Author

Howard Adamsky has been recruiting since 1985 and is an industry expert on making great hires. As a consultant, writer and public speaker, he works with organizations to support their efforts in building great companies.

Mr. Adamsky is also the author of Hiring and Retaining Top IT Professionals: The Guide for Savvy Hiring Managers and Job Hunters Alike published by Osborne/McGraw-Hill as part of the Computerworld Books for IT Leaders Series.

He is a regular contributor to ERE Media, a Certified Internet Recruiter and a Certified Diversity Recruiter.